Who is the Santa in the Christas adverts based off? I recognise him in an affectionate 'whatever he was in was a favourite of mine as a child' sort of way but I can't place it.

Also P-Stump looks very bizare right now. His chest is too broad for him to look right thin, that or I'm just not used to it. He looks healthier though, I think.

Y'know what, maybe this whole health scare/whatever is a really good thing because it dawned on me today, mid breakdown over worrying about what might happen on the tiny, tiny chance this is cancer, I don't want to die. I don't want to die.

It's been years since I actively wanted to, but I've not actively wanted to live in a long time either. It feels amazing. I feel like I could take on the entire world.

lj's doing the holiday promo where you can buy a year's paid account for $9.95 instead of the usual $19.95 with a coupon from a paid user.
i got 10 coupons available, first come first serve.
(x-post on tumblr)

So I had to go back to the doctors today because the pain has gotten intolerable and waited an hour and a half to see the doctor. Which was annoying enough before I got any sort of treatment. Now I think I'd wait three hours happily if it meant someone would say I'm absolutely fine. Apparently because it's gone on so long and because it's got worse a tumor is now a very real posibility. Though there's stil a good chance it's just bad sciatica.

I have to go for a scan once I get back to Swansea after new year and then they'll work out exactly what it is. And in the meantime I have a prescription of two weeks worth of super strength prescription and then I can get some more at home to cover me an extra week if need be. I'm a bit gutted to be honest, because here it's free, but if I need more when I'm home I'm gonna be paying £14.40 for it but whatever. I should just be grateful I get it free when I'm here at all. At least I got my loan so I'll actually be able to pay the prescription fees if need be.

Now I'm gonna sit and cry and hope to god it is just really bad sciatica because fuck, does the idea of a tumor petrify me. Then I might contemplate whether or not I can walk to the nearest pharmacy. Right now I'm struggling with down the hall to the kitchen. :(

Y'know what, people are always asking me if I regret being vegan, or if I miss meat, and my answer is always the same: if I hated it I wouldn't do it. No one's backed me into a corner and forced me to do this, I genuingly believe in what I'm doing and love the lifestyle. I wish it was easier at times, but if everything in life was easy it wouldn't be half as fun.

But I must admit, watching Jamie Oliver (which, despite the fact that he's not remotely geered towards even vegetarians, let alone vegans, I do rather love) makes me want to cook everything he makes. It's pretty much the only time I ever feel disapointed about having made this lifestyle choice (not that I want to take it back, just look! everything he makes looks so tasty if I don't think of it as a dead animal).

Today's is very exciting though because it's roast potatos and veg and I'm so cooking this stuff at Christmas. I'm gonna pack a bento box of it for boxing day at my grans because she gets so sad that my dinner always looks kinda pathetic in comparison to hers. YES! Awesome dinner!

It's been far too lonely here this weekend, and I have to admit, there was a moment where I was tempted to say yes to my mums offer of coming home today (or well, yesterday now, since it's gone 1am) but I'd just hate it. It's so quiet, which is kinda spookey, but also wonderful.

The only downside is I hate having windows open when I'm alone, it's stupid, because I'm 3 floors up and the window only opens like a couple of inches so no one could get in, but I still hate it. You'd think that wouldn't matter seeing as it's the middle of December except I'm sat in a tshirt and pj shorts and boiling.

So far I've spent my holiday watching TV (including a lot of Christmas countdowns, sadly) and reading and not a lot else. No revision yet, though I know I'm gonna have to get on it pretty quickly if I stand any hope of passing the exams. Plus they haven't sorted out the fucking exam arangements so basically I'm fucked.

Still, the guy from Preselli came over to fetch our kitchen table from nextdoors flat (so helpful of them to borrow it and then leave without returning it!) and he promised to come check in on me if he doesn't see me collecting the post for more than two days which is a nice relief.

For now I'm gonna finish watching Life On Mars and then get some sleep and then go shopping so I can do all the washing up everyone so helpfully left for me and maybe get some butter so I can make a crumble to cheer myself up.

Wow this post is a mess.

My bikes been stolen :(

If I want a book on how the presidency of the United States changed through to George W. Bush I can get one for £2.99. If I want a book on how the presidency of the United States changed through to Obama (which is what I need, sadly) it's gonna cost me £12.99.

£10 just to learn about a year of Obama's presidency seems like a bit of a waste, really. But there's no point buying the Bush edition, because this is a book I'll use in my course next year so if I'm gonna buy one it needs to be as recent as possible so I won't just have to buy another one next year. I already might have to if Obama does something huge in the next year or so anyway.

:( No fun books for me.

IDEK what that was, but it was awesome.

Wore the most killer heels you will ever see, and managed not to fall on my ass once! At one point I slipped but I managed to catch myself so no harm done. Spent the evening with Mikeyway (AKA Kathryn [she looks like Mikeyway and I didn't know her name for ages so Mikeyway stuck. - She doesn't know this]) and some friends of hers who are now friends of mine! One was from Somerset! There are more gay people in Somerset than just me! The total is now 2!

First part was kinda interesting, we talked about Jedward (they were in Swansea Monday night for our ball), twincest, Jedward and twincest, uh, and whether 12 year olds dating 20 year olds in manga is creepy. Then back to incest for some reason. Mikeyway is awesomely weird! After that we went to the club not the bar, and danced and shit, then party games!

First game was to pass oranges, didn't participate and it was kinda meh. Second game was for two girls to compete to collect the most of one type of clothing. Was fun to watch and because I was wearing a dress I didn't have to participate which was even better.

Then we danced some more, Ian got dressed up in stunning drag (he was strangey attractive which is creepy) and sang, I got dragged up onto the platform to dance and somehow enjoyed it. THEN third game. This is where it went very wtf. Mikeyway and Josh were pushing me toward the stage to participate and then Aiden appeared, grabbed my arm and pulled, and because my shoes have no grip I ended up on the stage.

The game? One person strips, one person licks whipped cream off their body. Two teams, winner is the person who licks the cream off first. Thankfully Dom got the licking part, except I was wearing a strappless bra which was really far too low cut to be seen in public, so I had to pretty much get my tits out on stage. And there are pictures... It's amazing how much more confidence you have for dancing like an idiot though once you've stood in front of everyone wtith your dress folded down round your waist having whipped cream licked off you.

Then I broke my shoe doing a do si do and had to take them off and walk back to the taxi rank bare foot on the freezing wet floor. They carried me most of the way though, bless them!

It's now like almost 3.30 and I'm so not ready for bed yet. I might need a shower...

OMG LOAN!

About fucking time!

These boys are seriously too adorable to exist.

Really.

I got a letter from my aunt today with a cheque for £20 which was very, very nice of her.

I'm a little worried though, to be honest. Apparently my oldest cousin (Mini-Stephen Fry) is being bullied for being smart and not so good at sports and he's having a hard time with becoming a teenager and I want to go hug him and say "10 years ago I was you, and no matter how shit it feels it does get better." She wants me to go speak to him at Christmas because he won't tell her anything about the bullying and all he's talked about since he came to visit me in October is if he can come back and see me, and if he works hard can he come to university himself when he's my age. Bullying is hard, I took 5 years of it, but hopefully I can talk to him, let him know things get easier and one day being smart won't make him lame, it'll make him the next Stephen Fry and he'll be the national treasure while they bully earns minimum wage in McDonalds.

My other cousin, the one who's usually quite easy because you just buy her something pretty and she's satisfied has decided she's going to start smoking. Apparently it smells nice. At first my aunt wasn't worried because Charis has a good head on her and our granddad nearly died from smoking a few years ago, so they sat her down with him and he explained that it was smoking that made him ill, but she still wants to do it. So as I am also her idol now, for some reason, it's up to me to convince her that it's a bad idea. At least she's decided she can't smoke until she goes to "big school" in a few years, so there's time. I'm hoping it's just a phase.

I can't wait to go home now. Except I know if I did I'd just kill my parents within like 3 hours, so I'm gonna wait right up to Christmas and then maybe we can have a nice week or so before I leave rather than a hellish month. Even if I went home now I wouldn't be able to see my cousins until Boxing Day so I'd just be sat around in Taunton worrying about them, rather than Swansea.

INGLOURIOUS BASTERDS!

OMG IT ARRIVED AND ANDY AND I ARE NOW GOING TO WATCH IT 50 BAZILLION TIMES! This day could not get any better!